My oldest Monster has been telling us that he is feeling trapped in the house like a caged animal. I completely understand the feeling because I feel that same way. He has been telling us he needs to get out and see people but he is scared. He said he is feeling alone. I 100% believe in pandemic depression I am just not sure how they are going to help all these kids. We have an appt with his Dr but I am not sure how is going to help. Our 2 oldest monster got their first covid shot (please don’t come at me with you vaccine opinions because I believe everyone has the right to choose BTW we gave are teenage monster the choice to get it they both choose to get it) but what is life like post pandemic? Will things ever go back to “life before” what does life look like now? As a mom it really sucks not having the answers or not knowing how to help him because everything he is feeling I am feeling too!!!! I really just wish this Covid BIT** never came around!!!!!!!
I never really understood when people said lifestyle change what that meant but I have learned that can mean just about anything to anyone. My lifestyle change came about when my daughter said “mom can we go out and practice for softball? No never mind I know you can’t do that” I saw the look on her face of disappointment and I knew something had to change. That day changed everything for me I started slow and I am slowly becoming the mother my monster deserves and wants. I can tell you I have no problem going out to practice with her now she loves it. The looks I get now are way better. I see how much happier they are. I started by setting small achievable goals little by little I achieved them. I had set backs but I didn’t let that stop me. When I achieved my first big goal I could not believe it I was so excited. My monster’s have been amazing cheering me on walking and jogging right next to me telling me to keep going. These little monsters call me out when I am slacking off or if they see me eat something bad I love that they hold me accountable. I am very blessed I think they are enjoying their new mom.
I wanted to review somethings that I have been using with my new “Lifestyle change” (I say that because I hate the word diet) I never liked milk but I always needed it in my coffee I drink black coffee now but when I want “real coffee” I use Nutpod can I just say I can’t tell the difference. Nutpod is a coconut almond milk base with very low calories and no sugar. I also have been liking sparkling water any brand any kind I love them all lol. I was never really a soda drinker but plain water gets old fast. This is not really a review but I learned that I love Brussel sprouts lets just be honest for a minute everyone thinks they hate Brussel sprouts I am here to say they are amazing. I really love all veggies.
My husband and I had a vacation planned with my brother-in-law to go to Atlantic City but with everything going on we decided to postpone. I was really looking forward to getting away because who doesn’t need a vacation. The best part of this vacation we were only going to have one monster because lets be honest I never go to far without my littlest monster for many reasons. My husband and I talked about getting away somewhere close because he already had the time off and why not. We found a hotel close but not to close. I can tell you that Vacation has become way more of a hastle than I could have ever imagined. We wear mask and sanitize. The hastle is what is open what can we do were can we go. Checking in to the hotel has even changed this whole pandemic has made everything so impersonal. when we checked into the hotel there is glass and ropes sign in over there “please don’t get close” “please don’t touch” “use the clean pen” I hate all this Impersonal bull Sh**. I hate that people are so scared to get close or even talk to people. I really hope this Covid Bit** learns her place and goes the hell away. Here are some pictures from our trip
I say month unknown because of this covid Bit** I don’t know what day it is sometimes. I have been doing OK. I am losing weight still eating healthy, exercising. I get dressed everyday but not so good with the hair and makeup everyday. Ok so now on to the reading part I am not doing as good with that but I am reading not as much. I am working to get back to 2 books a month.
These past couple of months have taught me some amazing things. I am way stronger then I could have ever imagined!!!! I also sadly learned that even during a pandemic you can learn who is truly there for you. I learned that family sucks. I also became even closer to my sisters. I really enjoyed getting to know them again. I am also working on making my marriage better. My husband and I are enjoying getting to know each other again. I ordered a “one question a day for you and me” book we are having a lot of fun filling that out. I am learning new things about him. The more I learn the more I love.
We are in this for the long hall school is now home school for the rest of the school year. Everything is changing and becoming the new normal face mask to got out, food shopping online curb side pick up to eat out, missing family events and huge milestones. The new normal of feeling isolated and alone. I am worried about what this is doing to people and their mental health. I see family on video chat and worry are they ok. I am worried about my middle monster who thrives in social aspects of life. I see her talk to her friend and talk about how things used to be I see her missing things like 8th grade graduation, dances, birthday party, movies mall trips, softball, and end of year trips with friends. I am worried about what the is doing to her self-esteem. I am worried will this have a lasting effect on her.
The 2 oldest Monsters are from a young stupid relationship. (Which I would not trade for anything in the world because that stupid relationship gave me my 2 amazing monsters just to be clear) I have been working and fighting to have a good co-parenting relationship with their dad. Over the last 15yrs I have let a lot go and have been dealing with way more then I should have (I am not going to go in to detail because I don’t want my kids to get hurt if they ever read this) but I don’t ever want my Monsters to say you didn’t try. This past weekend I asked him to step up and take them more and spend more time with his kids he said I know. I asked him to take them all of next weekend his wife said Saturday is the only day we get to spend with each other. My question is how do I get him to spend more time with his kids? How do I do what is best for my little monsters? what is best for my little monsters in this situation? Why don’t they write a hand book on Co-Parenting with an ex that could give two shits?
Today started like any other day with some unknown things to happen we had a scheduled Dr visit for my littlest Monster. (His Dr visit in a children’s hospital because of his complex medical history) How do you plan for a Dr visit during a pandemic? I started with packing his emergency overnight bag (just incase) when we schedule this Visit we were told to wear a mask and only one parent would be allowed in. The drive to the hospital normally takes up to 2 hrs depending on time of day or traffic. This drive took only 45 mins. When we arrived we had to do a pre arrival screening at the door then 3 more at check points. (LOL) I was asked the same 4 questions 4 time I understand why but it seams a little excessive. When we finally made it to the floor were the Dr office is we did our pre visit hight and weight then put right into a room right away. We were the only ones in the office which is a very different experience in itself. This is a very busy hospital on regular days the office is normally very busy too. On other visit we have had to wait for up to an hour to see the nurse then even longer to see the Dr. This whole experience was a crazy one to see a normally very busy hospital with hundreds of people rushing through at any given time of the day so slow is just scary because this is what we have come to with this pandemic. I wonder will we ever get back to the hustle of life will things ever but that busy again? Will we always be wearing masks and go through per visit screenings? My littlest Monster commented on them lack of people too he even made me take some pictures to show his dad “how crazy this is” his words. I am going to leave the pictures
This past weekend I helped my in-laws clean out there attic. I know crazy right. I wanted to help because they save everything I mean everything. We cleaned almost all day. I loved seeing the things they saved because it gave me glimpses into my husbands childhood. (my husband grew up like an American dream LOL his parents have been married for 38 yrs he only lived in 2 houses the second for all of his school yrs. He lived the life I always dreamed.) The best part of the day was when we decided to stop my husband and his brother found boxes of picture at this point everyone was tired but the story and laughter just flowed for what seamed like hrs. I loved hearing all the stories seeing the smiles and hiding of embarrassing pictures. I also got to connect with my father-in-law like never before. All around it was a great day and I felt like I was part of a real family the family that I would dream about when I was a kid.
My middle Monster has been working very hard to get into a private high school. Here is a little back story. She came to us and said “I want to do something” we said “ok” She then told us ” I want to got to a private high school” then presented us with all the information. She did all the research she found the school she wanted to go to. She looked up the application process, scholarship, finical aide, and everything else she needed. She then explained why she want to go to the school. She had a little presentation for us. She explained that she was not learning in her current School and didn’t think it would be any better at the local high school. She told us that she wanted to achieve something great and get in to a good collage she didn’t think the local high school could help her get there. (we don’t not have a problem with public school we have 2 other monsters in public school this is just how she felt) We then started the process of applying she wrote the essay we filled out at the paperwork explored the school and the curriculum, talked to teacher, students, and parents. My husband and I feel in love with the school. We finished everything and waited for what seemed like forever. We received the email SHE DID IT. She got ACCEPTED. She is going places she is a very good example of determination paying off!!!!!!!!!!
I started this year off like almost everyone I want to loose weight be a better person love more read more all of theses things. This year I made a hard resolution for myself believe me I know how easy this is going to sound to most people but when you are a stay at home mom this is hard to do. I made the resolution to get dressed do my makeup and hair everyday no matter what. Today I am 13 days 2 colds sick kids home flu going around and I have been doing it. Every day since Jan 1 2020 I dressed and I have done simply makeup and hair. I get that this seams easy and some are thinking OMG she is a lazy slob. when you are a stay at home mom and a 1 car family you can get into ruts last year most days I put my youngest monster on the bus in my pjs most days I had no reason to get dressed where was I going what was I doing. When I think back to last year this my be the reason why I was unhappy with myself. SO this year I made a promise to myself that I would take better care of myself. I wanted to do this for myself. My little monsters and husband have told me that they noticed a difference they said I seem happier!!!