Family time? Our family tries to make time for each other but as the Monsters get older we are finding it hard and hard to have time together. I know that anytime I get with these Monsters is great. I love my little moments with each of them like my early morning talks with my youngest or my coffee dates with my oldest but my favorite time is with my middle Monster (shh don’t tell the other 2 lol) my time with her is my favorite because I never had a mother daughter relationship so mine with her is very important. Here is my question how do I make sure they are having enough time? I never had family time when I was a kid. I want my Monsters to know that they are important and that their time is important too. I know that my time with my 2 oldest Monsters is limited because in a very short time they will be off to college and their own lives!
My middle monster would like a little more freedom. My husband and have been fighting over how to handle everything from social media to curfew. I grew up with a very strict Grandmother I was not allowed to do much I also had a curfew till the day I moved (I was 20) My husband grew up with parents who were not as strict. Now I would like to give my monster some freedom with in reason because I know what kids who have strict parents are very sneaky and do dumb things like get pregnant young! (speaking from experience) My husband on the other hand wants to keep her on a very short lease! (lol) So here is my question how much freedom is ok? How In this age of social media how do I protect her because I know better than most that some people in this world are awful? (that is the nicest word I could use) I want to let her learn from her own experiences but I also want to protect her! So how do you give your 15yr old Monster freedom that we can both agree on? I also don’t want my middle Monster to feel like we are giving her brother who is only 15 months older then her more freedom. I also understand that what works for one might not work for the other! I also understand parenting is not one size fits all! I have another question but this might cause some controversy. How do I stop my husband from being sexes? He thinks our oldest monster should get more freedom but our middle monster not so much.
My little Monsters started school this week. They started in person school for the first time in what seams like forever! To say they were nervous would be an understatement. My oldest Monster who’s personalty is “I don’t give a fu**” did not sleep the night before and was very quite the morning of school which if you know him that is not like him at all. The youngest Monster woke up saying “mommy I think I am going to throw up” he was also very quiet. My husband and I took our youngest Monster to school he held my hand and was shaking . I didn’t realize how much covid has effected these kids something that should be a very exciting thing is now turned into a scary thing because of the unknown. My only hope is that these are not the things that these kids remember when they tell stories to their children I hope this is a very distant memory. Our middle Monster just fell right back into her regular routine. She has been in person school the whole time.
Let me start this with I am a very sad monster keeper!!! I am going to tour my middle monsters first college. Holy crap how did I get here so fast? When I tell you don’t blink in motherhood I am speaking from experience. I feel like yesterday she was playing with baby dolls and now we are touring colleges. I can’t even explain the emotions that I a dealing with I have so much pride and joy but I am sad all at the same time!!! This middle monster is going to do something amazing and I know what you are thinking is you are biased because she is my monster but I don’t really think that is true. I will tell you why this monster has much determination when you tell her you can’t she uses that as her motivation! I don’t think she has ever failed at anything she put her mind to. She has so much working against her. I will give you a little back story (but please don’t come for me because she will be reading this) she has a dad who has never really been present or even given a shit about anything that she accomplished. I never went to college her dad never even finished high school. I came from a family that never put academics first or even told me that I can be anything. From a very young age I have always told my monster that they can do or be anything that they want. So with all that said the fact that she is even going to college is an accomplishment let alone law school.
This teen monster is killing me!!! She has been giving me so much lip and being very sneaky. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% know and understand that teens give lip and are sneaky, I did the same thing. But when you are on the other side it is nuts. Every time she opens her mouth it is lip or sass and I just want to call my grandmother and apologize(she raised me). Some days I think why and will this ever stop lol? My middle Monster and I are very close and a lot alike I think that has alot to do with it. She does this thing when she is mad she will stop talking to me and as much as I don’t want to admit it it drives me crazy!!!! I wonder some days which one of us will make it out alive. Raising teens is like dinosaur fight in Jurassic park at the end of the day only one will make it out alive. Most days I wake up ready for a fight, with her about stupid things like waking up late, missing the bus, the room not being cleaned, and taking way too much time in the bathroom, because I have learned that teens only look out for themselves. I will say she is a great help and for the most part a very good monster but on others days she lives up to her name monster lol.
My youngest monster has sensory processing disorder but this Covid Bi*** is making it crazy his social anxiety is out of control. I have been trying to take him to have playdates with his younger cousins to see if that will help but no he has been out of control he has no idea how to act or deal with his sensory overload. How do I help him without making him a more of a home body than we already are? He was making so much progress before all this happened I feel like he is worse then were we started. I would like to get him back in OT but they are only doing zoom and that kinda defeats the purpose!!! I am so over this pandemic!!
This year has been hell for everyone! I had no idea how to keep the spirit alive and be festive this year. If we are being completely honest I wanted to skip right over it but with a Santa Believer that was out of the question! We also have the added stress of having an immune compromised child. How do you do the holidays in a pandemic? We did find somethings to do I can tell you that I have rolled, cut, and baked way more cookies then I ever have. The kids are not even in the Spirit this year they are so bummed they missed out on so many of the fun activities that we have done in the past. They also missed out on snow days because with remote learning they don’t get them but that is a rant for another blog. I hope that everyone has a great holiday here’s to hoping that 2021 will be better I mean we can only go up from rock bottom RIGHT!!!!!!!
Sorry I have been a little MIA I have been reflecting on everything going on in the world. I have also been very busy with my new career as a “teacher” homeschool is no joke I am really struggling with it. So here is the thing I never wanted to be a teacher and I got thrown in to this I am so lost. The school district choses to use something new the teachers and students don’t understand it. The parents are thrown to the wolves to pick up the pieces and figure it out all well hoping their child is still learning and not falling behind anymore than they already have. I am very concerned about how far behind my child really is. I am scared of the last effects this will have on these children. How will the social skills be effected? Will they have trouble when everything gets back to “normal” not really sure it will ever go back. How can these kids interact with others when they have been sheltered and only talking to friends and family VIA zoom calls? Will we recover for this? I do have some good things that have happened we are closer as a family we are way more connected. I can also now put “Teacher” on my resume.
I never really understood when people said lifestyle change what that meant but I have learned that can mean just about anything to anyone. My lifestyle change came about when my daughter said “mom can we go out and practice for softball? No never mind I know you can’t do that” I saw the look on her face of disappointment and I knew something had to change. That day changed everything for me I started slow and I am slowly becoming the mother my monster deserves and wants. I can tell you I have no problem going out to practice with her now she loves it. The looks I get now are way better. I see how much happier they are. I started by setting small achievable goals little by little I achieved them. I had set backs but I didn’t let that stop me. When I achieved my first big goal I could not believe it I was so excited. My monster’s have been amazing cheering me on walking and jogging right next to me telling me to keep going. These little monsters call me out when I am slacking off or if they see me eat something bad I love that they hold me accountable. I am very blessed I think they are enjoying their new mom.
I wanted to review somethings that I have been using with my new “Lifestyle change” (I say that because I hate the word diet) I never liked milk but I always needed it in my coffee I drink black coffee now but when I want “real coffee” I use Nutpod can I just say I can’t tell the difference. Nutpod is a coconut almond milk base with very low calories and no sugar. I also have been liking sparkling water any brand any kind I love them all lol. I was never really a soda drinker but plain water gets old fast. This is not really a review but I learned that I love Brussel sprouts lets just be honest for a minute everyone thinks they hate Brussel sprouts I am here to say they are amazing. I really love all veggies.
I say month unknown because of this covid Bit** I don’t know what day it is sometimes. I have been doing OK. I am losing weight still eating healthy, exercising. I get dressed everyday but not so good with the hair and makeup everyday. Ok so now on to the reading part I am not doing as good with that but I am reading not as much. I am working to get back to 2 books a month.
These past couple of months have taught me some amazing things. I am way stronger then I could have ever imagined!!!! I also sadly learned that even during a pandemic you can learn who is truly there for you. I learned that family sucks. I also became even closer to my sisters. I really enjoyed getting to know them again. I am also working on making my marriage better. My husband and I are enjoying getting to know each other again. I ordered a “one question a day for you and me” book we are having a lot of fun filling that out. I am learning new things about him. The more I learn the more I love.