Family time? Our family tries to make time for each other but as the Monsters get older we are finding it hard and hard to have time together. I know that anytime I get with these Monsters is great. I love my little moments with each of them like my early morning talks with my youngest or my coffee dates with my oldest but my favorite time is with my middle Monster (shh don’t tell the other 2 lol) my time with her is my favorite because I never had a mother daughter relationship so mine with her is very important. Here is my question how do I make sure they are having enough time? I never had family time when I was a kid. I want my Monsters to know that they are important and that their time is important too. I know that my time with my 2 oldest Monsters is limited because in a very short time they will be off to college and their own lives!
My middle monster would like a little more freedom. My husband and have been fighting over how to handle everything from social media to curfew. I grew up with a very strict Grandmother I was not allowed to do much I also had a curfew till the day I moved (I was 20) My husband grew up with parents who were not as strict. Now I would like to give my monster some freedom with in reason because I know what kids who have strict parents are very sneaky and do dumb things like get pregnant young! (speaking from experience) My husband on the other hand wants to keep her on a very short lease! (lol) So here is my question how much freedom is ok? How In this age of social media how do I protect her because I know better than most that some people in this world are awful? (that is the nicest word I could use) I want to let her learn from her own experiences but I also want to protect her! So how do you give your 15yr old Monster freedom that we can both agree on? I also don’t want my middle Monster to feel like we are giving her brother who is only 15 months older then her more freedom. I also understand that what works for one might not work for the other! I also understand parenting is not one size fits all! I have another question but this might cause some controversy. How do I stop my husband from being sexes? He thinks our oldest monster should get more freedom but our middle monster not so much.
My little Monsters started school this week. They started in person school for the first time in what seams like forever! To say they were nervous would be an understatement. My oldest Monster who’s personalty is “I don’t give a fu**” did not sleep the night before and was very quite the morning of school which if you know him that is not like him at all. The youngest Monster woke up saying “mommy I think I am going to throw up” he was also very quiet. My husband and I took our youngest Monster to school he held my hand and was shaking . I didn’t realize how much covid has effected these kids something that should be a very exciting thing is now turned into a scary thing because of the unknown. My only hope is that these are not the things that these kids remember when they tell stories to their children I hope this is a very distant memory. Our middle Monster just fell right back into her regular routine. She has been in person school the whole time.
My little monsters are living a fantasy world!!!!!!!! My little monsters have no idea!!! They think everything should be handed to them. I asked my oldest teenage monster to make his little brothers bed.(his brother is 7 and has special needs) He the proceeded to tell me that I don’t sleep in it why do I have to make it. I said “well I don’t dirty all the laundry and dishes but I still have to wash them” to which replayed “that is your job right” I could have spit nails this little monster has no idea what it is like and believe me we are trying to teach him how to be an adult. When he is told to do chores he always tells my husband and I we are awful parents because none of his friend have chores. Is this a thing? I have always had chores. My little monsters don’t have as many chores as I had at there age. The 14yr old monster has to clean 2 toilets and sweep a kitchen floor and keep room clean. When I was his age was cleaning the whole house. This little monster has no idea. So here is my question why do kids theses days think they don’t have to do chores or contribute in anyway to the house? Why do they think because there mom stays home I should be doing everything? We are creating lazy in-tilted monsters. I am worried about his age group as a whole!!!!
I started this year off like almost everyone I want to loose weight be a better person love more read more all of theses things. This year I made a hard resolution for myself believe me I know how easy this is going to sound to most people but when you are a stay at home mom this is hard to do. I made the resolution to get dressed do my makeup and hair everyday no matter what. Today I am 13 days 2 colds sick kids home flu going around and I have been doing it. Every day since Jan 1 2020 I dressed and I have done simply makeup and hair. I get that this seams easy and some are thinking OMG she is a lazy slob. when you are a stay at home mom and a 1 car family you can get into ruts last year most days I put my youngest monster on the bus in my pjs most days I had no reason to get dressed where was I going what was I doing. When I think back to last year this my be the reason why I was unhappy with myself. SO this year I made a promise to myself that I would take better care of myself. I wanted to do this for myself. My little monsters and husband have told me that they noticed a difference they said I seem happier!!!
I know this sound so cliché. This year I am choosing to do and be better!!!!!! I want to make small achievable goals because I have learned that when you make large unachievable goals you set yourself up to FAIL. This also sets you up to hate yourself!! I like everyone else want better. I want to be a better wife, mother to those amazing monsters, sister, and just to be a better ME because without choosing me I can’t be better at theses other things.
Our new family tradition was an amazing idea. The little monsters loved every second of it. They loved swimming on Christmas morning. My husband and I loved that we could stop and enjoy “our family time.” I loved that we had no expectations. I loved that I could enjoy watching my little monsters open there gifts and enjoy without having to go anywhere. We enjoyed that there was no rushing around anywhere. The little monsters loved that there didn’t have to get all dressed up. I loved that I didn’t have to play fake nice. I loved that I didn’t have to rush around anywhere. I know that the holiday season is about being with family but when did it become a game of playing fake nice and who’s kids are better or who spent the most money? I enjoy my family most of the time but I just wanted to enjoy my holiday with “my family” is that wrong? Why and when did family time become like having a job? My husband and I agreed that this will be something we do as a new tradition.
This year our family made a choice to have our holiday in a hotel. My husband and I talked about this for a long time before we decided. My husband works very hard all year and does not spend very much time with us. Our 2 oldest monster are from my previous relationship that we have to split our holidays with their dad. This year was our year so that made the choice that much easier. We wanted to have a family holiday uninterrupted. Don’t get me wrong we love our family but we also wanted to be a little selfish and spend time with just us and our little monsters. When we talked to the little monsters they love the idea. The little monster were very excited to plan everything from where we were going to stay to what we were going to do. Watching them get so excited about getting to have time with us and daddy not working is worth every penny and all the crap family has given us. To be continued!!!!!!!!!!
I finished my Christmas shopping for my family about a week ago. I have wrapped it all. I feel very accomplished this year because in the past I was the person who braved the stores on Christmas Eve. I was very excited this year I had the kids do the lists early I started shopping but this year I feel very disconnected I feel like something is missing. I feel like the last min shopping and wrapping is a tradition. I enjoy everything about Christmas mostly because when I was little I never had a good Christmas and as a mother and wife I personally get to make sure they have an amazing Christmas The gift giving and shopping is the best part to me because even know Santa gets most of the credit I get to see there smiling faces and the pure joy they get from getting that one gift they wanted most. I think it means that much more to me because I never got to feel that joy.
I know that there are a lot of these going around everyone is making them. I wanted to make one a little different. I want to make a bucket list for my family to give back this holiday season and for us to find ways for us to spend more time as a family. I want our family time to be disconnected.(meaning with electronics and social media) I also want our family to learn the really meaning of the holidays.
Family winter bucket list!!!!
Play in the snow ❄️
Build a snowman☃️
Enjoy a movie at least 1 night a week 📼🎅🏼
Buy gifts to donate🎁
Visit a wishing tree and fulfill some wishes
Do something nice for someone else
Bake some cookies for the fire department
Make new memories
Play board games
Enjoy some hot chocolate
Read some Christmas books📚
Dance to some Christmas music🎶🎵🎄🎅🏼
Be a secret Santa to a neighbor🎅🏼
Decorate the Christmas tree 🎄
Bake or make a fun new meal together
Ride around and look at Christmas lights
Take family Pictures📸
Enjoy spending time together
I hope that as a family we can learn some new things. I hope we can learn more about each other. Most of all I hope my family reconnects. In the times that we are living in with so much on social media and everything geared around electronics I think we forget how to communicate. When did society forget how to have real conversations? How do we get back to really talking? I don’t want my little monsters to think this is how life should be. I want my family to have Holidays like when I was a kid with lots of family, yelling, fighting over who had the best gingerbread house or who gave the best gift. I want my Monsters to enjoy the holidays in real time not later when they look at there phones.