How can you sit in the same room with your husband and feel like he doesn’t even see you? I know that my husband loves me but I feel like with everything going on with our monsters and work we forget. I feel like after you get married and the honeymoon period you can get all caught up in everything and forget to look at each other and really see the other person. I think you forget to put your marriage first sometimes. I just wonder how long can this go on before you forget all together? I know that being married is like having a job and you always have to work at it but how long can you work alone? I think husbands just assume that the wife should always be doing the work. Marriage is a 2 person job! How do you tell your husband he needs to put in the work too and having it come from a loving place? I love my husband very much but I am getting tired of working alone I just don’t see the point.
MORNING I am a stay at home mom like most other moms. My husband works 2 jobs (I know I might get hate I am only going to address this once for our family this is what works my husband has worked 2 jobs from the age of 18. we also have a medically complex special needs child so please keep your comments to yourself) My day starts like most others the alarm goes off at 5:45 am I snooze till 6am I wake up the 2 oldest monsters. (the youngest monster is already awake he is up at 5am lets be honest I am almost always up with him) I grab clothes for my youngest monster then head downstairs. I start to make lunches and make drinks. I also get everything ready for my sons feeding tube for the day. I fight with the teenage monsters about stuff like what do you want for lunch and ” hell no you are not walking out of the house in that.” I send the teenage monsters off at 6:32. The second part of my morning starts this is the hardest I have to fight with my youngest about getting dressed, putting shoes on, what he wants for lunch, and pick up all your toys. Then relief comes 7:45 the bus pulls in the driveway. I hug and kiss him and send him off. Coffee Coffee the most glorious part of my day LOL. I then start with my Mommy duties cleaning up the morning tornado, laundry, house chores, and figure out dinner. About 10am I start waking up my husband this could take anywhere from half and hour to and hour he is like having anther Monster LOL. Some mornings I make him breakfast most days it is lunch because he is not out of bed till lunch time. This is just my morning.
AFTERNOON. After my crazy morning the afternoon starts. The teenage monsters grace me with their presents about 2:10. My afternoon fight starts with things like snacks, homework, chores, phones, screen time, and playing that awful game fortnite(I hate this game) The youngest monster comes home anywhere from 3 to 3;30. I have to decide how my afternoon will go with him on how is day was somedays are very hard for him. On hard days I pick my battles with homework. Hard day are the worse for me because I never know what he is going to be like. Most days when he gets home he has snack then starts his homework and chores. When we finish homework we set a time limit with TV time or video games. When all the monsters are all done with their afternoon chores and homework they get there screen time this Mom has to start her afternoon chores cleaning out lunchboxes, filling dishwasher, then start dinner.
NIGHT I love night time because that is when the monsters talk to me about their days. I cook dinner and the monster talk to me. When dinner is over the monster help me clean up then we do our nighttime routine baths, teeth, and reading then bedtime. My husband will come home around 7 to 8 Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Tuesday-Friday he will get home anywhere from 6 to 8. I always make him a plate he eats well I do the bedtime routine. When all the little monster are in bed my husband and I talk about our days and figure out the next day. Then it is relax time for us. Then finally Bedtime!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to start by saying I am one of those crazy people who loves Christmas. I listen to Christmas music and watch Christmas movies way to early😀 I wanted to see how other people feel because my husband thinks I am nuts he hates that I like to start planning early. I start planning around the time the kids start back to school. As you know I have 3 little Monsters 2 of them are teenagers so the the Christmas lists are ridiculous. My husband and I set limits but I think you have to set limits that are age appropriate. I am not going to spend the same amount on my 7yr old and 14yr old. When is the right time to start planning? Honestly with the gifts the kids ask for these days you have to start saving in March😂 I am a crazy Christmas person but I think somethings start to early like Christmas stuff in stores or stores having to be open on thanksgiving just so people can get a good deal on a TV. What about the people who have to work?
We went on the Date but did we really? We went to pick up stuff for the kids and to dinner and talked but we talked about the kids. What we had coming up the kids schedules the start of school. All we could have done at home. I am worried that we forget how to communicate as a married couple. We talk about money, kids, household things, and his job. When you get married and have kids is that all you ever talk about? On our date we talked about our date next month. We decided to try something different we are going to do something fun. We talked about going to an adult arcade and we agreed not to talk about the kids. We also agreed that when we go on our once a month Dates to try new things and talk not talk about the kids. I hope that we can do it? I hope that we learn how to be married couple. Do you think it will work out? Can a married couple fall in love all over again? Can two OLD (lol) people learn to have fun again? Can we also learn to communicate again? Here to hoping this all works out because I am not ready to give up on us.
When you have 3 little monster it is hard to find time for your marriage. I think that you have to make it a priority. I know that is easier said then done. I can’t tell you the last time my husband and I went on a real DATE. Date night for us is going food shopping when the kids are in school. But tonight he claims he is going to take me on a date. I say claims because I don’t think we know how to date anymore. What do married people do on a date? How do you date your husband? When we started dating we would go out to dinner, movies, and fun getaways. But now we have 3 monster (one who is medically complex and has special needs) so it is very hard for us to find a babysitter we trust. We also have to plan out where we are going before we go and how far away it is. So my question is what do we do know? Can I still have fun with my husband? Are we too old? (We are 34&35) lol I think that the more you find reasons to not go on dates the harder it is to connect with your mate. My husband and I have tried to make a effort to have a date night at least once a month. But life gets in the way kids, family, and work things like that. How do you make the time to date your husband? Is it ok to choose you marriage over your little monster sometimes? Dose that make us bad Monster keepers? We have to be united to be good Monster keepers right?
I have no idea how to start this post. I have talked to my son before I posted this. My son came to my husband and I a couple of months ago with this scared look on his face like I have never seen. He looked like he was going to throw up he lost all the color in his face He said “I have to talk to you guys about something” my husband and I looked at each other (with a oh great what did he do know look) He was shaking. I said calm down take a min pull yourself together and just tell us whatever it is we will get through it. He then said “Mom Dad I AM GAY” My husband and I both said at the same time “we know we were just waiting for you to tell us” he said “ really” I said “yes I have know for a long time. I then said I love you how do you feel now?” He said “mom I feel so much better.”I then said good “I am glad” I was so very proud of him! He then went on with his day. My husband and I had a talk that night. (Side note my husband was raised very different the I was he family is very old school and have a don’t ask don’t tell kind of thing going on.) he said to me I my not expect what he is but he is my son so I love him. He then said my family is going to have a problem with this. ( his older brother is in the military and father is very very old school his mother is very opinionated) I said I don’t care how they feel about it I just hope they never let him feel less then because he is who he is. He is going to deal with enough hate from the rest of the world. I have so many questions? How do you have the sex talk with him? How do you help him deal with the hate? How do I handle hate that he will get from family? How do we handle prom, marriage, having a family? He wants to join the Air Force what will happen with that? He is only a freshman in high school he has many years ahead of him. I am just so scared of the world and hate that he is going to deal with. I am scared that me loving and excepting him is not going to be enough. What do I do? On another note my daughter is going to kill anyone who try’s to show him hate she is amazing. I believe that she was meant to be his sister. They my fight like they hate each other but she is amazing when it comes to people showing hate. (She wants to become a lawyer to fight against hate and bullying she wants to change the world and I believe 100% she will because she is a determined little girl)