Family time? Our family tries to make time for each other but as the Monsters get older we are finding it hard and hard to have time together. I know that anytime I get with these Monsters is great. I love my little moments with each of them like my early morning talks with my youngest or my coffee dates with my oldest but my favorite time is with my middle Monster (shh don’t tell the other 2 lol) my time with her is my favorite because I never had a mother daughter relationship so mine with her is very important. Here is my question how do I make sure they are having enough time? I never had family time when I was a kid. I want my Monsters to know that they are important and that their time is important too. I know that my time with my 2 oldest Monsters is limited because in a very short time they will be off to college and their own lives!
My middle monster would like a little more freedom. My husband and have been fighting over how to handle everything from social media to curfew. I grew up with a very strict Grandmother I was not allowed to do much I also had a curfew till the day I moved (I was 20) My husband grew up with parents who were not as strict. Now I would like to give my monster some freedom with in reason because I know what kids who have strict parents are very sneaky and do dumb things like get pregnant young! (speaking from experience) My husband on the other hand wants to keep her on a very short lease! (lol) So here is my question how much freedom is ok? How In this age of social media how do I protect her because I know better than most that some people in this world are awful? (that is the nicest word I could use) I want to let her learn from her own experiences but I also want to protect her! So how do you give your 15yr old Monster freedom that we can both agree on? I also don’t want my middle Monster to feel like we are giving her brother who is only 15 months older then her more freedom. I also understand that what works for one might not work for the other! I also understand parenting is not one size fits all! I have another question but this might cause some controversy. How do I stop my husband from being sexes? He thinks our oldest monster should get more freedom but our middle monster not so much.
My little Monsters started school this week. They started in person school for the first time in what seams like forever! To say they were nervous would be an understatement. My oldest Monster who’s personalty is “I don’t give a fu**” did not sleep the night before and was very quite the morning of school which if you know him that is not like him at all. The youngest Monster woke up saying “mommy I think I am going to throw up” he was also very quiet. My husband and I took our youngest Monster to school he held my hand and was shaking . I didn’t realize how much covid has effected these kids something that should be a very exciting thing is now turned into a scary thing because of the unknown. My only hope is that these are not the things that these kids remember when they tell stories to their children I hope this is a very distant memory. Our middle Monster just fell right back into her regular routine. She has been in person school the whole time.
Back to school I am not going to lie I am excited and scared!! My youngest Monster is medically complex and too young to get the covid vaccine but with all that said we are choosing to send him to school because he needs to socialize with kids his own age. He is scared about going back I am too but I am putting on a brave face for him so he see that everything that will be ok but inside I am really worried with all the case going back up. I really just want this covid bi*** to go away!!! We are in a new scary world I have been worried about school in the past but nothing this bad. School shopping is very different this time around mask and hand sanitizer are going to be the new normal. My oldest Monster is a different story this homeschool thing really saved him from going down the wrong road and from making bad choices. I am worried about what in-person school for him and what will this do to him. Will he make good choices? Will he stay on the right path? Will he choose the right friends? Will he keep doing the right thing?
Let me start this with I am a very sad monster keeper!!! I am going to tour my middle monsters first college. Holy crap how did I get here so fast? When I tell you don’t blink in motherhood I am speaking from experience. I feel like yesterday she was playing with baby dolls and now we are touring colleges. I can’t even explain the emotions that I a dealing with I have so much pride and joy but I am sad all at the same time!!! This middle monster is going to do something amazing and I know what you are thinking is you are biased because she is my monster but I don’t really think that is true. I will tell you why this monster has much determination when you tell her you can’t she uses that as her motivation! I don’t think she has ever failed at anything she put her mind to. She has so much working against her. I will give you a little back story (but please don’t come for me because she will be reading this) she has a dad who has never really been present or even given a shit about anything that she accomplished. I never went to college her dad never even finished high school. I came from a family that never put academics first or even told me that I can be anything. From a very young age I have always told my monster that they can do or be anything that they want. So with all that said the fact that she is even going to college is an accomplishment let alone law school.
This teen monster is killing me!!! She has been giving me so much lip and being very sneaky. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% know and understand that teens give lip and are sneaky, I did the same thing. But when you are on the other side it is nuts. Every time she opens her mouth it is lip or sass and I just want to call my grandmother and apologize(she raised me). Some days I think why and will this ever stop lol? My middle Monster and I are very close and a lot alike I think that has alot to do with it. She does this thing when she is mad she will stop talking to me and as much as I don’t want to admit it it drives me crazy!!!! I wonder some days which one of us will make it out alive. Raising teens is like dinosaur fight in Jurassic park at the end of the day only one will make it out alive. Most days I wake up ready for a fight, with her about stupid things like waking up late, missing the bus, the room not being cleaned, and taking way too much time in the bathroom, because I have learned that teens only look out for themselves. I will say she is a great help and for the most part a very good monster but on others days she lives up to her name monster lol.
This pandemic is killing my marriage but is it really or is it just making issues that we had before come to head!!! I knew that we had problem in our marriage but spending so much time together I see that we have more then I thought. I am fighting so hard to make this work. I have been reading books googling I even asked my husband to go to marriage counseling. Here is the thing I don’t want my kids to deal with that awful thing called divorce!! My 2 oldest monster are already broken from me leaving their dad. I see how they are hurting and I don’t want my youngest monster to go threw what I already put the 2 oldest monster threw. My husbands parents have been happily married 40yrs well as happy as you can be when you have to deal with the same person for that long. That is a lot for me to live up to. I love my husband very much but I don’t think I should have to settle for anything less then what I want don’t get me wrong I know that thing change, work, life get in the way. I mean we have 2 teenage monster learning how to drive, sports, extra activities, mall trips, you get the point. But to stay happily married I think that we have to get to know the new us but my husband get so caught up in his life that I think he forgets that I am there. I don’t even know were to start or how to make it work. I want him to put in more work I want him to make me feel the way that he did when we first met I understand that might be a lot to ask for after 10yrs. I know that it takes 2 I think I have been trying too. I am not sure what he would say about my end of it lol. so here is my question can I save my marriage? Is it worth it? Is this hurting my monsters more?
My oldest Monster has been telling us that he is feeling trapped in the house like a caged animal. I completely understand the feeling because I feel that same way. He has been telling us he needs to get out and see people but he is scared. He said he is feeling alone. I 100% believe in pandemic depression I am just not sure how they are going to help all these kids. We have an appt with his Dr but I am not sure how is going to help. Our 2 oldest monster got their first covid shot (please don’t come at me with you vaccine opinions because I believe everyone has the right to choose BTW we gave are teenage monster the choice to get it they both choose to get it) but what is life like post pandemic? Will things ever go back to “life before” what does life look like now? As a mom it really sucks not having the answers or not knowing how to help him because everything he is feeling I am feeling too!!!! I really just wish this Covid BIT** never came around!!!!!!!
The past couple of months I have been choosing to put my needs first for the first time ever!!!! I know what some of you are thinking you’re a mom how can you do that? Well here’s the thing I was not being the best mom I could be that is how I can put myself first. I choose to do things that I love again go out, enjoy kids free time, delegate chores to my husband, read, and have better self care. Guess what I don’t care if that bothers people or they think I am being a bad mom or wife because I am living my best life and I an a better mom and wife because I choose myself. In choosing myself I learned that I don’t have to do it all be it all it is ok to let stuff go give in to letting the kids have ice cream for breakfast because it is not worth the fight. I learned that other peoples opinions don’t matter!!!!!!!
My youngest monster has sensory processing disorder but this Covid Bi*** is making it crazy his social anxiety is out of control. I have been trying to take him to have playdates with his younger cousins to see if that will help but no he has been out of control he has no idea how to act or deal with his sensory overload. How do I help him without making him a more of a home body than we already are? He was making so much progress before all this happened I feel like he is worse then were we started. I would like to get him back in OT but they are only doing zoom and that kinda defeats the purpose!!! I am so over this pandemic!!