My little Monsters started school this week. They started in person school for the first time in what seams like forever! To say they were nervous would be an understatement. My oldest Monster who’s personalty is “I don’t give a fu**” did not sleep the night before and was very quite the morning of school which if you know him that is not like him at all. The youngest Monster woke up saying “mommy I think I am going to throw up” he was also very quiet. My husband and I took our youngest Monster to school he held my hand and was shaking . I didn’t realize how much covid has effected these kids something that should be a very exciting thing is now turned into a scary thing because of the unknown. My only hope is that these are not the things that these kids remember when they tell stories to their children I hope this is a very distant memory. Our middle Monster just fell right back into her regular routine. She has been in person school the whole time.
Back to school I am not going to lie I am excited and scared!! My youngest Monster is medically complex and too young to get the covid vaccine but with all that said we are choosing to send him to school because he needs to socialize with kids his own age. He is scared about going back I am too but I am putting on a brave face for him so he see that everything that will be ok but inside I am really worried with all the case going back up. I really just want this covid bi*** to go away!!! We are in a new scary world I have been worried about school in the past but nothing this bad. School shopping is very different this time around mask and hand sanitizer are going to be the new normal. My oldest Monster is a different story this homeschool thing really saved him from going down the wrong road and from making bad choices. I am worried about what in-person school for him and what will this do to him. Will he make good choices? Will he stay on the right path? Will he choose the right friends? Will he keep doing the right thing?
Let me start this with I am a very sad monster keeper!!! I am going to tour my middle monsters first college. Holy crap how did I get here so fast? When I tell you don’t blink in motherhood I am speaking from experience. I feel like yesterday she was playing with baby dolls and now we are touring colleges. I can’t even explain the emotions that I a dealing with I have so much pride and joy but I am sad all at the same time!!! This middle monster is going to do something amazing and I know what you are thinking is you are biased because she is my monster but I don’t really think that is true. I will tell you why this monster has much determination when you tell her you can’t she uses that as her motivation! I don’t think she has ever failed at anything she put her mind to. She has so much working against her. I will give you a little back story (but please don’t come for me because she will be reading this) she has a dad who has never really been present or even given a shit about anything that she accomplished. I never went to college her dad never even finished high school. I came from a family that never put academics first or even told me that I can be anything. From a very young age I have always told my monster that they can do or be anything that they want. So with all that said the fact that she is even going to college is an accomplishment let alone law school.
The past couple of months I have been choosing to put my needs first for the first time ever!!!! I know what some of you are thinking you’re a mom how can you do that? Well here’s the thing I was not being the best mom I could be that is how I can put myself first. I choose to do things that I love again go out, enjoy kids free time, delegate chores to my husband, read, and have better self care. Guess what I don’t care if that bothers people or they think I am being a bad mom or wife because I am living my best life and I an a better mom and wife because I choose myself. In choosing myself I learned that I don’t have to do it all be it all it is ok to let stuff go give in to letting the kids have ice cream for breakfast because it is not worth the fight. I learned that other peoples opinions don’t matter!!!!!!!
I would like to talk for a minute about Mom Guilt!!! I have Mom guilt for all kinds of reasons but I was talking to my sister this weekend and she was telling me that she has been having a lot of mom guilt when she leaves her kids with someone. That made me stop and think why do so many people put moms down for wanting time away from our children. I personally am trying to put myself first a little more this year with everything going on I really think it is important to make time for yourself. I think that with putting myself first I can become a better mom and wife. I 100% believe in self care. I don’t believe that you should never feel guilty. Do your little monsters or significant other feel guilty when they put themselves first? Do single people feel guilty? NO so why should you? I am working on getting my sister on the self care mantra. I think that we need to stop MOM SHAMING. Being a mom is hard enough without the MOM SHAMING.
I think with everything this year everyone is ready for this year to be over, but with the reality of everything this year is it really going to be better than last. I am still going to set new goals for the year. I learned a lot this past year with that said I am going to make realistic goals like trying to keep girls night going because I believe that we really need it. I think that with this pandemic as bad as it is there are some realistic goals we can set like work on our marriage work on my mental health I really think that being home and homeschool I need me time to be with my thoughts more then ever. I am also going to keep connecting with my little monsters. We are learning new thing everyday and I love it. I hate what is going on in the world but I am blessed to say that we have really connected as a family in way that I never knew that we could in a time were social media rules these teens my monster are wanting to talk and connect more. I will tell you that I have learned so much from my monsters this year like TikToc dances and how to game lol. My monsters have also learned from me some new card games and I got to show them my love for history. We also talked about some tough things. I loved that we all slowed down. So as much as this covid Bi*** sucks I love that I could connect with my husband, monsters, and family.
PLEASE DON’T LET KIDS READ!!!!!!!!!!
This year has been hell for everyone! I had no idea how to keep the spirit alive and be festive this year. If we are being completely honest I wanted to skip right over it but with a Santa Believer that was out of the question! We also have the added stress of having an immune compromised child. How do you do the holidays in a pandemic? We did find somethings to do I can tell you that I have rolled, cut, and baked way more cookies then I ever have. The kids are not even in the Spirit this year they are so bummed they missed out on so many of the fun activities that we have done in the past. They also missed out on snow days because with remote learning they don’t get them but that is a rant for another blog. I hope that everyone has a great holiday here’s to hoping that 2021 will be better I mean we can only go up from rock bottom RIGHT!!!!!!!
Here are some pictures😀
I never really understood when people said lifestyle change what that meant but I have learned that can mean just about anything to anyone. My lifestyle change came about when my daughter said “mom can we go out and practice for softball? No never mind I know you can’t do that” I saw the look on her face of disappointment and I knew something had to change. That day changed everything for me I started slow and I am slowly becoming the mother my monster deserves and wants. I can tell you I have no problem going out to practice with her now she loves it. The looks I get now are way better. I see how much happier they are. I started by setting small achievable goals little by little I achieved them. I had set backs but I didn’t let that stop me. When I achieved my first big goal I could not believe it I was so excited. My monster’s have been amazing cheering me on walking and jogging right next to me telling me to keep going. These little monsters call me out when I am slacking off or if they see me eat something bad I love that they hold me accountable. I am very blessed I think they are enjoying their new mom.
I wanted to review somethings that I have been using with my new “Lifestyle change” (I say that because I hate the word diet) I never liked milk but I always needed it in my coffee I drink black coffee now but when I want “real coffee” I use Nutpod can I just say I can’t tell the difference. Nutpod is a coconut almond milk base with very low calories and no sugar. I also have been liking sparkling water any brand any kind I love them all lol. I was never really a soda drinker but plain water gets old fast. This is not really a review but I learned that I love Brussel sprouts lets just be honest for a minute everyone thinks they hate Brussel sprouts I am here to say they are amazing. I really love all veggies.
The first month has been a little hard. I stuck with it. I think that I am doing ok I believe I can be doing better!!!!! I did get dressed every day of Jan. The putting on makeup and doing hair is not going well I had a little trouble with the makeup. My skin has been giving me a lot of trouble I think as I am getting older my skin hates me lol.(I know that is not an excuse) I plan to do better in Feb I order all new makeup and skin care. Heres to hoping my skin will learn I am the boss lol. I am doing good with my weight loss journey so far. I know for myself that the first month is the easiest for me. The sticking with it is what kills me but what I think is different this time I know that I have to do this to show my little monsters a heathy lifestyle. I have always had trouble with emotional eating but this time I am learning it is ok to ask for help and say NO to things. My little monsters have been great at helping me out they are asking how I am doing and cheering me on. I know that is what is keeping me going.
With reading I am killing it. I read 4 books granted 3 were audio books because I am a very busy mom to 3 monsters. ( It still counts right) I listened to Rachael Hollis Girl, wash your face and Girl, Stop Apologizing. They were Amazing and very helpful I would recommend them to any and every women not to mention she is hilarious. I also listened to Stassi Schroeder’s Next Level Basic this book I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard with a book before. (Stassi if you ever read this by some crazy chance please keep writing I will buy everything you write) Please run to Target or wherever you buy your books from and get it. I promise you will thank me. The 1 book I did actually read was The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris very good read I finished it in 4 days. I am currently reading the second one to this I will update you in next months recap. I have linked all the books if you would like to read.
https://msrachelhollis.com. https://www.target.com/p/girl-stop-apologizing-by-rachel-hollis-hardcover/-/A-54100654. https://www.target.com/p/girl-wash-your-face-by-rachel-hollis-hardcover/-/A-52971788