Family time? Our family tries to make time for each other but as the Monsters get older we are finding it hard and hard to have time together. I know that anytime I get with these Monsters is great. I love my little moments with each of them like my early morning talks with my youngest or my coffee dates with my oldest but my favorite time is with my middle Monster (shh don’t tell the other 2 lol) my time with her is my favorite because I never had a mother daughter relationship so mine with her is very important. Here is my question how do I make sure they are having enough time? I never had family time when I was a kid. I want my Monsters to know that they are important and that their time is important too. I know that my time with my 2 oldest Monsters is limited because in a very short time they will be off to college and their own lives!
My middle monster would like a little more freedom. My husband and have been fighting over how to handle everything from social media to curfew. I grew up with a very strict Grandmother I was not allowed to do much I also had a curfew till the day I moved (I was 20) My husband grew up with parents who were not as strict. Now I would like to give my monster some freedom with in reason because I know what kids who have strict parents are very sneaky and do dumb things like get pregnant young! (speaking from experience) My husband on the other hand wants to keep her on a very short lease! (lol) So here is my question how much freedom is ok? How In this age of social media how do I protect her because I know better than most that some people in this world are awful? (that is the nicest word I could use) I want to let her learn from her own experiences but I also want to protect her! So how do you give your 15yr old Monster freedom that we can both agree on? I also don’t want my middle Monster to feel like we are giving her brother who is only 15 months older then her more freedom. I also understand that what works for one might not work for the other! I also understand parenting is not one size fits all! I have another question but this might cause some controversy. How do I stop my husband from being sexes? He thinks our oldest monster should get more freedom but our middle monster not so much.
My little Monsters started school this week. They started in person school for the first time in what seams like forever! To say they were nervous would be an understatement. My oldest Monster who’s personalty is “I don’t give a fu**” did not sleep the night before and was very quite the morning of school which if you know him that is not like him at all. The youngest Monster woke up saying “mommy I think I am going to throw up” he was also very quiet. My husband and I took our youngest Monster to school he held my hand and was shaking . I didn’t realize how much covid has effected these kids something that should be a very exciting thing is now turned into a scary thing because of the unknown. My only hope is that these are not the things that these kids remember when they tell stories to their children I hope this is a very distant memory. Our middle Monster just fell right back into her regular routine. She has been in person school the whole time.
Back to school I am not going to lie I am excited and scared!! My youngest Monster is medically complex and too young to get the covid vaccine but with all that said we are choosing to send him to school because he needs to socialize with kids his own age. He is scared about going back I am too but I am putting on a brave face for him so he see that everything that will be ok but inside I am really worried with all the case going back up. I really just want this covid bi*** to go away!!! We are in a new scary world I have been worried about school in the past but nothing this bad. School shopping is very different this time around mask and hand sanitizer are going to be the new normal. My oldest Monster is a different story this homeschool thing really saved him from going down the wrong road and from making bad choices. I am worried about what in-person school for him and what will this do to him. Will he make good choices? Will he stay on the right path? Will he choose the right friends? Will he keep doing the right thing?
Let me start this with I am a very sad monster keeper!!! I am going to tour my middle monsters first college. Holy crap how did I get here so fast? When I tell you don’t blink in motherhood I am speaking from experience. I feel like yesterday she was playing with baby dolls and now we are touring colleges. I can’t even explain the emotions that I a dealing with I have so much pride and joy but I am sad all at the same time!!! This middle monster is going to do something amazing and I know what you are thinking is you are biased because she is my monster but I don’t really think that is true. I will tell you why this monster has much determination when you tell her you can’t she uses that as her motivation! I don’t think she has ever failed at anything she put her mind to. She has so much working against her. I will give you a little back story (but please don’t come for me because she will be reading this) she has a dad who has never really been present or even given a shit about anything that she accomplished. I never went to college her dad never even finished high school. I came from a family that never put academics first or even told me that I can be anything. From a very young age I have always told my monster that they can do or be anything that they want. So with all that said the fact that she is even going to college is an accomplishment let alone law school.
This teen monster is killing me!!! She has been giving me so much lip and being very sneaky. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% know and understand that teens give lip and are sneaky, I did the same thing. But when you are on the other side it is nuts. Every time she opens her mouth it is lip or sass and I just want to call my grandmother and apologize(she raised me). Some days I think why and will this ever stop lol? My middle Monster and I are very close and a lot alike I think that has alot to do with it. She does this thing when she is mad she will stop talking to me and as much as I don’t want to admit it it drives me crazy!!!! I wonder some days which one of us will make it out alive. Raising teens is like dinosaur fight in Jurassic park at the end of the day only one will make it out alive. Most days I wake up ready for a fight, with her about stupid things like waking up late, missing the bus, the room not being cleaned, and taking way too much time in the bathroom, because I have learned that teens only look out for themselves. I will say she is a great help and for the most part a very good monster but on others days she lives up to her name monster lol.
This pandemic is killing my marriage but is it really or is it just making issues that we had before come to head!!! I knew that we had problem in our marriage but spending so much time together I see that we have more then I thought. I am fighting so hard to make this work. I have been reading books googling I even asked my husband to go to marriage counseling. Here is the thing I don’t want my kids to deal with that awful thing called divorce!! My 2 oldest monster are already broken from me leaving their dad. I see how they are hurting and I don’t want my youngest monster to go threw what I already put the 2 oldest monster threw. My husbands parents have been happily married 40yrs well as happy as you can be when you have to deal with the same person for that long. That is a lot for me to live up to. I love my husband very much but I don’t think I should have to settle for anything less then what I want don’t get me wrong I know that thing change, work, life get in the way. I mean we have 2 teenage monster learning how to drive, sports, extra activities, mall trips, you get the point. But to stay happily married I think that we have to get to know the new us but my husband get so caught up in his life that I think he forgets that I am there. I don’t even know were to start or how to make it work. I want him to put in more work I want him to make me feel the way that he did when we first met I understand that might be a lot to ask for after 10yrs. I know that it takes 2 I think I have been trying too. I am not sure what he would say about my end of it lol. so here is my question can I save my marriage? Is it worth it? Is this hurting my monsters more?
I would like to talk for a minute about Mom Guilt!!! I have Mom guilt for all kinds of reasons but I was talking to my sister this weekend and she was telling me that she has been having a lot of mom guilt when she leaves her kids with someone. That made me stop and think why do so many people put moms down for wanting time away from our children. I personally am trying to put myself first a little more this year with everything going on I really think it is important to make time for yourself. I think that with putting myself first I can become a better mom and wife. I 100% believe in self care. I don’t believe that you should never feel guilty. Do your little monsters or significant other feel guilty when they put themselves first? Do single people feel guilty? NO so why should you? I am working on getting my sister on the self care mantra. I think that we need to stop MOM SHAMING. Being a mom is hard enough without the MOM SHAMING.
This year is going to be very different. My oldest and youngest monsters will be doing homeschool or distance learning and my middle monster will be attending school. Where we live they gave us the option to do in person or online. My husband and I decided that because our oldest and youngest monsters attend public school they will be doing online the middle monster is staring at a new private school so she will be attending in person. We decided that because the private school had a way better plan for in person that she will go. The public school doesn’t have a good plan to keep my monsters safe in my opinion. We are very nervous with everything going on the school has not set up a good plan don’t get me wrong I understand that in these times it is harder to have a good safe plan but I will never put my monsters at risk.
Today we went to our middle monsters back to school orientation. I think that in this time and how things are now is so sad. I watched my middle monster interact with her new peers and teachers with a mask on and 6 feet apart for a child who strives on social interaction I could see that she felt so different and a little sad. In this season of her life of start of high school should be a happy fun experience but no not ever close yes we are making to best of the situation.
I never really understood when people said lifestyle change what that meant but I have learned that can mean just about anything to anyone. My lifestyle change came about when my daughter said “mom can we go out and practice for softball? No never mind I know you can’t do that” I saw the look on her face of disappointment and I knew something had to change. That day changed everything for me I started slow and I am slowly becoming the mother my monster deserves and wants. I can tell you I have no problem going out to practice with her now she loves it. The looks I get now are way better. I see how much happier they are. I started by setting small achievable goals little by little I achieved them. I had set backs but I didn’t let that stop me. When I achieved my first big goal I could not believe it I was so excited. My monster’s have been amazing cheering me on walking and jogging right next to me telling me to keep going. These little monsters call me out when I am slacking off or if they see me eat something bad I love that they hold me accountable. I am very blessed I think they are enjoying their new mom.
I wanted to review somethings that I have been using with my new “Lifestyle change” (I say that because I hate the word diet) I never liked milk but I always needed it in my coffee I drink black coffee now but when I want “real coffee” I use Nutpod can I just say I can’t tell the difference. Nutpod is a coconut almond milk base with very low calories and no sugar. I also have been liking sparkling water any brand any kind I love them all lol. I was never really a soda drinker but plain water gets old fast. This is not really a review but I learned that I love Brussel sprouts lets just be honest for a minute everyone thinks they hate Brussel sprouts I am here to say they are amazing. I really love all veggies.